My one word for January was FRESH STARTS: a chance to start the new year off right with a new outlook, a new mindset and a general sense of hopefulness. I read many books on the power of fresh starts, spent time imagining what my fresh start would look like and learned from workshops, videos and podcasts on that very topic.

And now, it’s time for a new word. 

That’s why I love choosing a word to guide each month, rather than the entire year: because every month is like a brand new fresh start.

The thing about spending lots of time reading, writing and learning is that you start to uncover things about yourself and about the world, for better or worse. These might be small things, like the effectiveness of your daily routines and rituals, but they can also be big things, like the way you see and treat yourself to how you see the world around you. 

Fancy that. =)

As we head into February, this learning and unlearning about myself brought me right to the word I’m quite certain I need next: SELF-LOVE.

Merriam-Webster defines self-love as an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue and a proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being. It’s something that I know I could use more of and it’s something I know the world around me could use a lot more of, too. 

Things have been hard. They’re still hard. And they are likely to be hard in the future, too. We’re living through a pandemic: work is different, home is different, the world is different. And it’s taking a toll. And from my own experience and what I see of those around me, we are internalizing all of that hardship and placing blame for not being ‘enough’ during these challenging times on ourselves. We’re literally feeling the weight of the world. Or at least it feels like I am. 

That’s why a bit of self-love is in order for us all: dedicating the proper time and attention to the unique things we each need for our health and well-being. What does self-love look like for you? Yoga? Cooking? Sleeping a bit more? Going on a run? Playing with your kids? Watching a movie? Taking a hike? Reading? Going on a drive? Fixing something?

Self-love looks different for everyone and I think we should all spend a bit more time this month figuring out exactly what that means to each of us. To help, I’ve curated this bibliotherapy book list of twenty-one (and growing!) books sure to spark a renewed focus on self-love.

But guess what? I didn’t do it alone. 

I’m thrilled to announce that I am now partnering with independent bookstores all over the United States to share the book love with us. This month, Stephanie Jalowiec of The Book Cabin in Lake George, New York shares her top recommendations alongside of my own so that I can learn a few new titles for myself, too. In fact, taking time to talk books with others is top on my self-love and self-care list of favorites. 

But there’s more! If you’re a member of my Get Lit(erate) community, you’ll get exclusive access to a podcast episode of Stephanie and I talking about our favorites from the list….and maybe a few more, too.

So, without further ado, here are twenty books to spark a renewed focus on the gift of  self-love for ourselves.

Adult Literature:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. As she maps the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection, she gives us the language and tools to access a universe of new choices and second chances—a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that builds connection.

This book has changed the way I look at the world, especially how I look at myself. Each page is inspiring and uplifting, but also complex and challenging, as Glennon invites us to rethink the memos we have accepted as the status quo of our lives. I devoured this book quickly on the first reading and savored each word on the second, truly using Glennon’s stories to rewrite my own. I imagine I’ll continue this transformative work on the third reading as well.

To Shake the Sleeping Self by Jedidiah Jenkins

On the eve of turning thirty, terrified of being funneled into a life he didn’t choose, Jedidiah Jenkins quit his dream job and spent sixteen months cycling from Oregon to Patagonia. He chronicled the trip on Instagram, where his photos and reflections drew hundreds of thousands of followers, all gathered around the question: What makes a life worth living? In this unflinchingly honest memoir, Jed narrates his adventure–the people and places he encountered on his way to the bottom of the world–as well as the internal journey that started it all. 

The Loveliest Chocolate Shop in Paris by Jenny Colgan

This book was pure delight, from start to finish. When I finished the last page, I cried. I cried for Anna, for Claire, for Thierry, for Laurent, for Alice, for Richard and for myself. I cried for all the ways I saw myself in the pages of the book and for all the ways I wish I did. Because honestly, I expected a delightful little read filled with chocolate and sweetness, not a delightful little read filled with chocolate and sweetness and steep life lessons I needed to learn right now: about life and really living, about love and insecurities, about family and the bonds that tie us. My quote notebook is filled to the brim and so is my reading heart.

Heart Talk by Cleo Wade

True to her hugely popular Instagram account, Cleo Wade brings her moving life lessons to Heart Talk, an inspiring, accessible, and spiritual book of wisdom for the new generation. Featuring over one hundred and twenty of Cleo’s original poems, mantras, and affirmations, including fan favorites and never before seen ones, this book is a daily pep talk to keep you feeling empowered and motivated.

With relatable, practical, and digestible advice, including “Hearts break. That’s how the magic gets in,” and “Baby, you are the strongest flower that ever grew, remember that when the weather changes,” this is a portable, replenishing pause for your daily life.

Home Body by Rupi Kaur

Rupi Kaur constantly embraces growth, and in home body, she walks readers through a reflective and intimate journey visiting the past, the present, and the potential of the self. home body is a collection of raw, honest conversations with oneself – reminding readers to fill up on love, acceptance, community, family, and embrace change. Illustrated by the author, themes of nature and nurture, light and dark, rest here.

30 Things I Love About Myself by Radhika Sanghani

Nina didn’t plan to spend her thirtieth birthday in jail, yet here she is in her pajamas, locked in a holding cell. There’s no Wi-Fi, no wine, no carbs–and no one to celebrate with.

Unfortunately, it gives Nina plenty of time to reflect on how screwed up her life is. She’s just broken up with her fiancé, and now has to move back into her childhood home to live with her depressed older brother and their uptight, traditional Indian mother. Her career as a freelance journalist isn’t going in the direction she wants, and all her friends are too busy being successful to hang out with her.

Just as Nina falls into despair, a book lands in her cell: How to Fix Your Shitty Life by Loving Yourself. It must be destiny. With literally nothing left to lose, Nina makes a life-changing decision to embark on a self-love journey. By her next birthday, she’s going to find thirty things she loves about herself. 

Yoke by Jessamyn Stanley

Funny, thoughtful, inspiring, and deeply personal essays about yoga, wellness, and life from author of EVERY BODY YOGA, Jessamyn Stanley. Stanley explores her relationship (and ours) to yoga (including why we practice, rather than how); wrestles with issues like cultural appropriation, materialism, and racism; and explores the ways we can all use yoga as a tool for self-love.

Middle Grade Literature:

A Song Called Home by Sara Zarr

Lou and her family don’t have much, but for Lou it’s enough. Mom. Her sister, Casey. Their apartment in the city. Her best friend, Beth. It would be better if Dad could stop drinking and be there for her and Casey, and if they didn’t have to worry about money all the time. But Lou doesn’t need better–she only needs enough.

What’s enough for Lou, however, is not enough for Mom. Steve, Mom’s boyfriend, isn’t a bad guy, he’s just…not what Lou is used to. And now, he and Mom are getting married, and that means moving. Packing up life as they’ve known it and storing it in Steve’s garage. Lou will be separated from everything in her small but predictable life, farther from Dad than ever.

How to Find What You’re Not Looking For by Veera Hiranandani

This book checked all the boxes for me. Relatable characters? Check. Real-life events to connect to? Check. Beautiful themes of friendship, family and growing forward? Check, check, check. And while this book gave me a window into another family’s way of living, of being and of loving, it also gave me a mirror into my own family-is-complicated heart, a pretty impressive feat for a single book to accomplish. Hiranandani introduces readers to Ari, her family and the swirl of events they are enveloped in: the difficulties of being one religion while surrounded by another, the challenges of running a family-owned business, the heartache of a family divided, the frustration of the school system and how it supports (or doesn’t) students who might learn differently, the complications of friendship and more. I entangled myself with the characters immediately and am not quite ready to let them go, even after I turned the last page.

Starfish by Lisa Fipps

Ah, this book. Honestly, this book is one of the most compelling, emotional, heart-piercing books I have ever read. Lyrically told in verse, Fipps tells Ellie’s story of heartbreaking bullying for her size, her internal struggle to find her own self-worth and her quest to claim her deserved space in her family and in the world. This book will make you think, make you cry, make you cheer and make you rethink everything you’ve ever known about how the world works. I still need Kleenex and will be sifting through my collection of beautiful quotes from this book from days to come.

The Other Half of Happy by Rebecca Barcarcel

This book is everything you could ever want in a middle grade novel: completely relatable characters, situations and experiences that ring true for many and writing that invites you to stay a while. But this book had so much more. Balcarcel introduces us to Quijanita, a twelve year old girl who doesn’t know where she fits in at home, at school and in her own skin. She struggles to make friends and fit in at her new school, to connect with her Guatemalan family, to make sense of her new feelings for a boy and to deal with her worry for her brother and grandmother. But most of all, she struggles to express what she feels on the inside to those that matter most and makes regretful choices in the process, something all readers, young and old, can relate to. This is my new favorite middle grade novel. 

Sticky Notes by Dianne Touchell

I found this book on an unexpected trip to the bookstore. It wasn’t displayed, but instead, a single copy was tucked into the shelves just waiting to be discovered. As a lover of all things sticky notes, the title caught my eye, so I picked it up. And I haven’t put it out of my sight since. This book has touched my heart. It’s about a young boy living through his father’s early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. And while written from only his perspective, we learn how the disease impacts the patient, the caregivers, the family and more. Touchell so beautifully captured a painful journey of truth: the confusion, the fear, the fatigue, the shame. All of it. But in doing so, she gave us a glimpse into the perspectives of all stakeholders involved, perspectives we might not be able to see when living through the reality of this disease. Everyone needs to read this book, but especially those who have been impacted by the disease and need to know they are not alone. It will change the way you see things. I promise.

Young Adult Literature:

Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson

Jade believes she must get out of her neighborhood if she’s ever going to succeed. Her mother says she has to take every opportunity. She has. She accepted a scholarship to a mostly-white private school and even Saturday morning test prep opportunities. But some opportunities feel more demeaning than helpful. Like an invitation to join Women to Women, a mentorship program for “at-risk” girls. Except really, it’s for black girls. From “bad” neighborhoods.

But Jade doesn’t need support. And just because her mentor is black doesn’t mean she understands Jade. And maybe there are some things Jade could show these successful women about the real world and finding ways to make a real difference.

Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven

Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed “America’s Fattest Teen.” 

Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin, too. 

When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game—which lands them in group counseling and community service—Libby and Jack are both pissed, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world, theirs and yours.

Gabi: A Girl in Pieces by Isabel Quintero

Gabi Hernandez chronicles her last year in high school in her diary: college applications, Cindy’s pregnancy, Sebastian’s coming out, the cute boys, her father’s meth habit, and the food she craves. And best of all, the poetry that helps forge her identity.

I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sanchez

Perfect Mexican daughters do not go away to college. And they do not move out of their parents’ house after high school graduation. Perfect Mexican daughters never abandon their family.

But Julia is not your perfect Mexican daughter. That was Olga’s role.

Then a tragic accident on the busiest street in Chicago leaves Olga dead and Julia left behind to reassemble the shattered pieces of her family. 

Was Olga really what she seemed? Or was there more to her sister’s story? And either way, how can Julia even attempt to live up to a seemingly impossible ideal? 

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

Eleanor is the new girl in town, and with her chaotic family life, her mismatched clothes and unruly red hair, she couldn’t stick out more if she tried.

Park is the boy at the back of the bus. Black T-shirts, headphones, head in a book—he thinks he’s made himself invisible. But not to Eleanor… never to Eleanor.

Slowly, steadily, through late-night conversations and an ever-growing stack of mix tapes, Eleanor and Park fall for each other. They fall in love the way you do the first time, when you’re young, and you feel as if you have nothing and everything to lose.

Picture Books for All Ages:

Zero by Kathryn Otoshi

Zero is a big round number. When she looks at herself, she just sees a hole right in her center. Every day she watches the other numbers line up to count: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 . . . !” “Those numbers have value. That’s why they count,” she thinks. But how could a number worth nothing become something? Zero feels empty inside. As budding young readers learn about numbers and counting, they are also introduced to accepting different body types, developing social skills and character, and learning what it means to find value in yourself and in others.

Ish by Peter Reynolds

Drawing is what Ramon does. It¹s what makes him happy. But in one split second, all that changes. A single reckless remark by Ramon’s older brother, Leon, turns Ramon’s carefree sketches into joyless struggles. Luckily for Ramon, though, his little sister, Marisol, sees the world differently. She opens his eyes to something a lot more valuable than getting things just “right.” Combining the spareness of fable with the potency of parable, Peter Reynolds shines a bright beam of light on the need to kindle and tend our creative flames with care. 

Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry

Zuri’s hair has a mind of its own. It kinks, coils, and curls every which way. Zuri knows it’s beautiful. When mommy does Zuri’s hair, she feels like a superhero. But when mommy is away, it’s up to daddy to step in! And even though daddy has a lot to learn, he LOVES his Zuri. And he’ll do anything to make her—and her hair—happy.

Tender and empowering, Hair Love is an ode to loving your natural hair—and a celebration of daddies and daughters everywhere.

Tomorrow I’ll Be Brave by Jessica Hische

Journey through the beautifully hand-lettered messages by award-winning illustrator Jessica Hische. This uplifting and positive book encourages kids to promise that tomorrow, they will try new things, do their best, and be brave.

Tomorrow I’ll be all the things I tried to be today:
Adventurous, Strong, Smart, Curious, Creative, Confident, & Brave.
And if I wasn’t one of them, I know that it’s OK.

As this book reminds readers, tomorrow is another day, full of endless opportunities–all you have to do is decide to make the day yours.

The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson

There are many reasons to feel different. Maybe it’s how you look or talk, or where you’re from; maybe it’s what you eat, or something just as random. It’s not easy to take those first steps into a place where nobody really knows you yet, but somehow you do it.

Jacqueline Woodson’s lyrical text and Rafael Lopez’s dazzling art reminds us that we all feel like outsiders sometimes-and how brave it is that we go forth anyway. And that sometimes, when we reach out and begin to share our stories, others will be happy to meet us halfway.

There you have it! A bibliotherapy book list full of titles sure to spark a renewed focus on self-love. Tell me: What are your favorite books for sparking self-love? Share them in the comments below!